“If Only” is a sad love letter expressing regrets and apologies from a man who did nothing but take for granted the only love he had.
I know that there a lot of things I did and I haven’t thought long enough before doing them. I have lied to you so many times without thinking that it’s you I really care about and I never thought of losing you.
It feels like it was only last night since I last held you in my arms. It’s been a year since you left me and I still couldn’t find the courage to accept that you are gone. It hurts so much just to think that I have lost you forever.
If only I could tell you how much I love you and how much I wanted you back, I could trade my life just to do that one more time.
But I know you found someone better and you deserve all the love he can give you – the love I never had the guts to show you… I took you for granted instead and I know I have to face the consequences and just live with it.
If only you knew how I always cry myself to sleep each night thinking of all the memories that we had, all the hurts I caused you, thinking what could have been if I have not neglected you. It pains me so much not to know the answer and that I know and I need to accept that I will never find out.
I’m so sorry for all the pain I inflicted upon you and please know that I never intended to do so… I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it.
I wish you the best of everything and if you can’t find it, I hope one day, I will be given the chance to give you the best of who I am.