“Love someone for who they are
Accept them for who they are not
Understand them at their worst
And help them to bring out their best.”
I wrote this as a caption “Love me for who I am” for Love is for Better or Worst love quote. I was actually constructing my own definition of love, something that in a few words would encompass all the things I needed to put effort into in order to have a lasting relationship. And so I came up with this one-verse poem.
Loving someone for who they are comes with accepting them for who they are not. This means NOT trying to change them into someone you think they should be. Once you created this “idea” on how someone should behave or how someone should talk or how someone should love you, there is always an expectation which when not met will just lead to disappointment.
“How about if I make the effort of changing someone with the intent of making him better as a person? I think that he lacks a sense of responsibility and self discipline and that he SHOULD grow up and take some responsibility. Should I accept him for being irresponsible and immature as he is? Is that not equivalent to settling for less and accepting that I deserve someone like him?”
The truth is, you can never a change a person. I have learned this the hardest way and believe me, there is no way that you can tell someone to change and expects him to listen and do as you say.
Think of it this way, what changes have you done for yourself lately? Have you checked your list of new year’s resolution? How can we expect an individual to change for us if we ourselves have a hard time changing? It’s not that easy, even if we know it is for our own good.
I hope it’s making sense. He is the only one who can change himself. Whether he sees you as an inspiration or not, that even is still his own choice. Great if he chooses to be inspired and change. Great if he gives you the chance to help him bring out his best.
If not, either you live up to it – imperfections, worst attitude and all – OR you leave. The key is to know where to draw the line, where to set your boundaries, when to compromise and when to let go.