They say that what you have become is because of the lessons you learned about love. And most of them are learned the hard way.
These are the quotes I learned about love. And these lessons I learned are for me the most invaluable, most unforgettable, and most likely the mistakes that I won’t even try doing again.
Lessons About Love Quotes
1. There are things I wish I should have said to the people I love the most when their ears are still very open to listen to everything I say.
There are things I wish I told him a long time ago when he still openly listens to me. There came a time when he just shut me out and never wanted to listen to me. Maybe he just reached his saturation point. I just made a mess out of our relationship and I wish I could have said I’m sorry in person for everything I did that made him turn his back on me.
I wish we could still talk some time but I already accepted that it will never happen. Or maybe it might happen but I’m not wasting my time thinking about it. I already got over it. I know I have to get over it and move on with my life.
I realized that what is keeping me from moving on is the fact that I wasn’t still able to forgive myself for hurting him. There is still a part of me that wanted to apologize to him in person and look him in the eye and tell him how sincerely sorry I am for all the things I did that had hurt him.
And I got over that – thinking he already moved on, knowing he is happily married, hoping he has already forgiven me…
2. If you love someone, you don’t have to wait for the right time to be with them. You just have to do it.
My younger brother with special needs is the one that has always kept me from going out of my comfort zone and live a married life without him. I couldn’t just leave my brother behind and I had two failed relationships because of it.
I don’t regret choosing my brother over them. It just saddens me to be placed in such a situation. I feel like I wasn’t strong enough to get over my anxiousness and trust my family that they will take good care of my brother when I get married.
It was a mistake that I had kept them waiting for nothing. I should have told them right from the start about how I feel. I just gave them the false hope that if I prepare myself emotionally and psychologically, then I will be able to leave my brother behind and be with them.
I realized that if I truly love them, then I will be able to just do it and be with them.
3. Not even love can make someone change. They will change once they are decided to do so. All you can do is to guide them and not impose on things that you think is right for them.
This is something I learned from my first marriage. He is a happy-go-lucky guy and for 8 years, I waited for him to become a man. I have given him a lot of chances. I had forgiven him for all his vices – womanizing, gambling, drinking, smoking.
I was thinking that maybe, if we get married, he will take on some responsibilities. He will learn to become responsible and change for the better.
I just kept on waiting for that to happen and he never changed. We are now living our separate lives. He has his own family and I heard stories of how irresponsible he has become as a husband and a father.
I learned that no matter how much love you can give to someone, you can’t expect that person to change for you. The realization must come from him and it’s something you can’t impose.
4. At the end of the day, it’s how well you take care of each other. It’s how much you love each other. And most of all, it’s about how willing you are to understand each other.
I learned that love is not just about love itself. If you are in a relationship, love is just one part of a whole. Your ability to commit yourself is one of the most important factors in order for a relationship to work out.
Part of that commitment is your ability to understand each other. If one will try to air out their grievances and the other won’t listen and refuses to understand, your relationship isn’t going anywhere.
I have learned in my past relationships to listen to their needs and respond in a positive way. It became my habit and is now a part of my system. And I think that is the reason why my relationships lasted for many years.
5. It is important to to leave the baggage from the last relationship and not carry it to the next one.
They say that to get over someone, you have to love another one. And I don’t believe that. I have learned that you can’t just be with someone else and use them so you can get over someone. It’s not really fair especially if you still love your ex.
Besides, if you have just come out from a failed relationship, your wounds are still open and you become vulnerable to more pain.
I learned to heal myself alone. I don’t have to divert my attention to other guys just so I could move on. I have taken my time so I won’t have to carry any baggage from my past and let it affect my next relationship.
6. There is life beyond a heartbreak.
At my lowest I thought I will never recover. I thought I will not be able to survive. Picking up all my broken shards and pieces, I was able to put myself back together. And I can say that I’m even stronger than before.
I think it’s really all in the mind. When your heart is aching and you want to move on a little faster, then you have to change your perspective. Just think about all the things you are missing out, all the chances and opportunities you are rejecting just because your heart is broken.
There really is life beyond a heartbreak and I was surprised at what life offered me. I was rejected by one person but I was showered with a lot of blessings that I never thought would be given to me.
7. When someone hates you, all they see is the negative in you.
I learned that no matter how good you are, if someone hates you, he will only see the negative in you. And you can’t do anything and you don’t have to take it personally because that is how he sees you.
But just because there was something he experienced with you that made him hate you, it doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. It doesn’t mean that he could hate you forever either.
8. Any experience – good or bad – will help me achieve what I want in life.
I have learned that whatever difficulty you are faced right now in your relationship, in your career or life in general, whatever choice you make whether that choice is good or bad, whether that choice is right or wrong, the experience will help you achieve what you want in life.
9. I realized that not all men who say they love me will be able to handle what a mess I can be.
I also learned that I should not question their feelings for me just because they can’t handle me. There are just people who can’t deal with my weirdness.
I know I’m weird at times but I don’t feel the need to change because if I do, I feel like it’s not me anymore.
So I learned to accept that not everyone will accept me as I am and I’m sorry that I couldn’t change for them. I learned to wait for that someone who accepts me as I am – weirdness and all – and I did meet him.
10. Relationship only works if both of you will put the effort.
I have learned that no matter how much you love a person and no matter how much you want your relationship to work out, if the other one already gave up, then there’s no reason for you to hold on.
It’s hard to accept that someone who once loved me so much has rejected me. I am somewhat confused because I was still so deeply in love with him at that time that he has fallen out of love. And I tried doing things to change his mind but we are already on a different direction.
It hurt so bad but it’s something I have to accept. There’s nothing I can do about it but to accept it. And if he already gave up, then I don’t have any reason to continue loving him.
11. I have learned that the greatest risk in love is to be seen as who you really are and it’s up to them to accept you for that.
I have a lot of insecurities in terms of my physical appearance. I am more confident with the kind of personality that I have. I know I have much love to give. I know I’m smart. I can talk to anyone and have a conversation about practically anything under the sun.
But there are things I keep on hiding. I wasn’t born with a very good skin and it really makes me insecure.
I learned to not hide. I am still insecure but I’m not afraid to be seen as who I really am anymore. It’s up to him to accept me. And I’m so glad that my partner right now accepts my flaws and he is very supportive in the things I want to do so I can feel beautiful once again.
12. I have learned to take my time and not decide on impulse.
Sometimes, deciding on an impulse and following my instincts could put me into a lot of trouble. Falling in love too fast for example, or deciding that he is the one in an instant has given me a heartbreak for a very long time.
I have learned to take my time and reconsider my feelings. I also consider our compatibility. I made friends with him for a few months before actually dating with him. And it works.
13. I learned to lessen my capacity to love others and more for myself.
After a few heartbreaks I have learned to love myself a little more. I thought to myself, if I’m not going to love myself, if I’m not able to fill my heart with love, I will be drained empty and I won’t be able to give anything.
My first marriage was exhausting. I wasn’t given the love that I deserve. I have given so much that I drained myself empty in the process. And I can’t give anything anymore. I just left and never came back.
14. I have learned to be more precise in estimating my ability to overcome heartaches.
When he left me, I used tell myself that I couldn’t make it without him, that I couldn’t live without him, that I’m nothing without him.
But I learned to overcome my heartaches. It may have taken me longer than everybody but there’s no exact period or length to get through heartaches.
Now I learned that when my heart aches, I just have to delve into it, feel the pain and wait until it stops. Just like when your finger is cut, the wound bleeds and throbs and hurts but will stop eventually.
And so is emotional pain. The healing won’t take as fast as we wanted and it feels like forever when enduring the pain. But be patient. The wound will heal eventually.
15. I have learned to forgive myself and go a lot easier on myself this time.
When you feel you haven’t given your all and you already lost, you sometimes couldn’t forgive yourself for not doing your best. And you just really have to accept that because you couldn’t do anything about it anymore.
This is a lesson I learned the hard way because I was used to winning. With luck and without so much effort, I used to getting what I want.
And sometimes I think I’m too blessed because God gives me things, wonderful things, even when I don’t ask for them. And my mom just made a wonderful job of providing for us that I never really got to experience a lot of hardships in life. Thanks to my mom we lived a comfortable life.
And maybe this is the reason why I’m kinda hard up when I lose or when I don’t get what I want. And I couldn’t forgive myself for not doing my best.
Lesson learned? Always do your best in whatever you do. Victory is always sweeter this way. And when you lose? Well, you don’t have to worry about it. No regrets as long as you did your best and gave your all.