We were in a long distance relationship for almost 5 years and let’s admit it, it wasn’t that easy. In fact, it was really hard. We only met three times within that span of time and the longest time we’ve been together was only a couple of months.
It was hard not to see and be with you everyday. And since we are used to not seeing each other, I thought letting go of you would be easier. I thought it would be the best for both of us – for me because I can’t seem to choose you over my brother with special needs and for you because I know deep within me that I’m not the one who can truly make you happy.
You deserve to be happy more than anyone else in the world. You are a nice young man, an eligible bachelor, someone pure at heart. You are an established professional and holistically ready to start your own family.
That is the reason why in just a few months of getting to know each other, you already asked me to marry you. And for me, there is always this longing for someone who will give me the love and care that I deserve.
And you didn’t fail me. You loved me and accepted me for who I was and for who I am. Our relationship was smooth sailing until we got engaged. For what I thought to be the happiest day of my life has become the most tragic day.
Our relationship has always been on the rocks since you asked my Mom for my hand in marriage. It was your family against mine. It became a dispute that you never addressed and an issue I never got over with.
In short, it wasn’t about our families anymore. It was about how we handled the situation. You chose not to address the issue. You built the wall separating me from your family. You and your family are okay but I was never given the chance to at least try to mend things with them.
And I being the sensitive one, overly sensitive in fact, was down and upset. I wish I had the chance to make amends. I wish they gave me a chance to show them that I’m not what they think I am – that if they get to know me, I know I can prove to them that I can take care of you and love you more than my life.
Do you still remember what I told you about my dream that you were with another girl? You were holding her hand. You were looking for me and were waiting outside our house. I couldn’t believe what I saw.
I was taken aback when you approached me and gave me a bookmark. I couldn’t remember what was written in there. All I was able to read was the word happiness. Like you were telling me that you wanted me to be happy.
And then you were gone.
And I woke up crying. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t stop crying. Do you still remember your response when I told you about it? You said that what happens in dreams is the opposite of what will happen in reality.
You also said that in real life, I might be getting married to another man. You never assured me that what I dreamed about will never happen to us.
And so after almost 5 years of instability, of chaos and fights, we chose to end it. I was devastated but I have to accept that our relationship is over, really over this time because you chose to give up.
We broke up for a hundred reasons and I was left alone. You broke my heart and never talked to me again.
Time passes by so fast that I wasn’t able to cope up with the phase. I was stuck. I was depressed. I was lost and confused. I lost my sense of time, and my sense of direction.
And after less than a year of being heartbroken, I can say that I’m okay. And you were wrong about my dream. It wasn’t the opposite. My dream did happen. It really did happen! Well, not exactly as it was, but you got married to another girl.
I wasn’t shocked though, unlike in my dream. Maybe it hurt a little but it wasn’t as painful as it was in my dream.
Nevertheless, I am grateful that that dream did happen. It saved me from feeling so devastated when the real thing happened.
You broke my heart but I thank you for it. Thank you because you gave me the opportunity to experience another manifestation of God’s love for me. I thank God for preparing me for that one big news. It was really over between us. And God saw to it that I will be fine.
He knows how I am when I go through my adversities and He saved me from feeling so much pain. He prepared me for it and I felt how much He loves me.
Now that I have finally moved on, I can say I am happy for you. When I look back, I realized that maybe they were right. Maybe I’m not really good for you. It hurts but it was the truth. The fact that I can’t leave my brother behind, the fact that I can’t choose you over my brother, it is something that any man will think about twice. You can’t marry a woman who is not willing to drop everything for you, can you?
And the bookmark that you handed me in my dream? I know you wanted me to be happy. I think by letting me go, you just gave me the chance to be happy. I know deep within you that you also wanted me to find happiness just as you were able to find happiness with somebody else.
That’s why I never really regretted that we broke up because now I truly am happy and I am happy for you too. God answered all my prayers and He gave me someone to love and someone who loves me so much, someone who accepted my situation, someone so understanding and patient. He gave me the one that I truly deserve.
You broke my heart but I’m thankful for it. And I know I’ve broken your heart too and I’m sorry for it. But I know you have forgiven me now and I’m pretty sure you’re also thankful for it. I wish you all the happiness in the world, for you and your family.